So, do you remember that whole "I'm-going-to-die-on-my-200-mile-relay-race" thing last August, and that "10-K-that-about-did-me-in" thing back in May? That whole "What-am-I-a-freaking-idiot?" thing because I keep signing up for races that I HAVE NO INTENTION OF TRAINING FOR?
Well, fuck it. I signed up for a 5K on Thanksgiving. And guess what? I didn't train. In fact, I don't think I've actually run more than a few steps since August. Because I am just that awesome. And, I figured that I could probably crawl a 5K, so there really wasn't a whole lot of pressure this time.
There are a couple of things that I should probably mention:
- I really really really want to be able to run, but I constantly hurt myself, and don't run. But I really do want to. The why is partly because it's fun, and partly because I am pretty sure as a runner I will have a better chance of surviving the zombie apocalypse that will happen any minute now. I just have some kind of mental block about actually going out and, you know, running. But I think about it a lot.
- I am pretty badly out of shape at the moment.
- Until Thanksgiving, we were experiencing a nice long pleasant Indian summer.
- On Thanksgiving morning, it was 14 FREAKING DEGREES outside when I got up.
- Oh, and I didn't quit smoking until the day AFTER Thanksgiving.
- I might also mention that I considered titling this post "The Turkey Trots" but figured it would imply more pooh than necessary, as this post is not actually about pooh.
Anyway, because I really wish I were a runner (but don't run that much), I read a lot of running blogs. One thing I have noticed is that all these runners post their running statistics off to one side, or at the end of a race, only without my helpful explanation. I just had to figure that shit out on my own.
So here it is, my AMAZING 5K feat:
This was a PR for me (that's personal record to you) (shut up, I know it's obvious, but it wasn't obvious to me when I started reading these blogs, because I am an idiot). It's a PR for me because I have never actually run a 5k before (that would be 5 kilometers or about 3.1 miles) (no, I am not making fun of you, you might not know what a 5k is) (fine, be mad, I don't care) (OK, I do).
My time was (drumroll) 39 minutes and 30 seconds.
Um, yeah. Approximately 4.5 minutes faster overall than a brisk walk.
So, my pace comes out to about 12 minute 45 second miles, or about 4.7 miles per hour. And yes, children and old people were passing me. And a guy pushing a stoller. And a guy in a wheelchair.
I knew I should have gone barefoot. At least then I would have had an excuse. And probably frostbite.
BUT. I will say that it put me in a spectacular mood all day, AND I realized that when I do run, I have to start slow and short, because my knees were tired all day after only 3 miles. And I am probably doing it wrong. But hey. At I did it.
So, it should also be noted that I didn't take a single photo that day. Which is weird, because I always take pictures. The first 4 below I bought for $1 on the race website, and the last one was taken my a kind stranger on Chris's camera at the finish line.
Dad looking all professional in his HD (as SEEN ON TV!) sunglasses:
Chris and me: Running is hard!
OK, running is hard, but also fun. We are both smiling here. Maybe it's because we are almost done. Oh, and hey, check out my shiny red Eddie Bauer coat. Remember when I bought it? At least I use it. And yes. It really is all that.
And Ma, less than a minute behind Chris and me.
Basically, we weren't the fastest, but I think we won.