Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Healthy as a Horse... or Something

Something I originally envisioned when I quit smoking was that when I craved a cigarette, I would take a walk or do some jumping jacks or something.  This would also help with the whole "not gaining weight" thing. 

I am less active now than I was while smoking.

Here is an example of my workouts since quitting:

  • Monday:  Went to work.  Walked from my car to my desk (about 200 yards).  Walked down to the cafeteria twice (about .25 miles each way) because I needed something.  Walked back to my car (about 200 yards).  Walked from the car to the couch (maybe a few hundred steps).  Walked to bed (30 feet).
  • Tuesday: (see Monday)
  • Wednesday: (see Monday)
  • Thursday: (see Monday)
  • Friday: (see Monday)
  • Saturday:  took a slow hour long walk so I could play with my pinhole camera.
  • Sunday:  Pretty much parked myself at a table all day.

Basically I have gone from averaging 12,000 steps a day for most of the summer (I had a pedometer, so I know), to The Human Slug.

I knew was getting out of shape.

I haven't been hiking.  I haven't been running.  I have barely been walking.  I avoid the Wii Fit because I don't want to be scolded for not playing in so long, and because I might have put on a pound.  And yes, the Wii Fit will scold me, and possibly make fun of me.  The Wii Fit is an asshole, by the way.

Anyway, work had this cool biometric screening thing.  It is completely voluntary, but they give you a $200 a year discount if you complete it on your health insurance. 

They checked my BMI, waist circumference, blood pressure, cholesterol, glucose... basically a whole shit-ton of stuff I had never had tested before.  I also had to fill out a questionnaire, and get my life rated by my insurance company.

Last year, I scored a 72 out of 100.  Probably because I smoked.

This year, the computer told me how proud it was of me for quitting, and gave me a 98 out of 100 for being healthy, and a low risk.

I sat at my desk being all proud of the (completely efortless on my part) healthy assessment.  Then I got to thinking...

The other night, the boyfriend and I actually got tired of watching TV.  Instead of reading or, you know, talking or something,  we tried playing hacky sack.  In the basement.  With the drop ceiling.  It seemed like a good idea, anyway.

A couple of things I learned:
  1. I am super-duper un-graceful.
  2. If I was playing D&D, my dexterity score would be like 2.
  3. I improved pretty dramatically within about 15 minutes, but was still embarrassingly bad, and probably funny to watch.
  4. It was fun
  5. I totally got winded in 15 minutes.
 So here is my question: 

How can an insurance company think I am healthy and in shape and a low risk if I can't play with a hacky sack without getting worn out?  What's next? Darts is going to be rated as a cardio exercise?


KKlein said...

Hehehe! You're still more active than I am. Me: read, slump to car, park as close as possible for extra reading time, slump back to car. Everyday!

Leauxra said...

Er, didn't mean to delete that. I am awesome.

What I was GOING to say, is that I forgot to add in the activity that occurs when I walk to the fridge for a beer, and back again. I am a regular athlete.

PudMonkey said...

Why are all the Wii Fits assholes??? Ours is totally an asshole, too. I didn't play it the whole entire time I was pregnant because "pregnancy" isn't an option when it asks you why you're gaining weight. We've got loads of awesome snow now, though. We just need to figure out if we can actually manage to go skiing without dropping or freezing the baby. There are tons of awesome trails basically across the road from our house. I still have high hopes.