I have to admit, I was a little disappointed that going through airport security was so easy. I mean, after all the fuss, I expected there to be some drama.
Where were the long lines I was promised? We walked right up to the security checkpoint. The entire process took maybe 10 minutes.
And did I get screened? Well, I guess. But I didn't get the backscatter thingy, and I didn't get groped. I pay taxes! And then I get cheated out of using the expensive equipment that my tax dollars paid for!
I had so many great one-liners planned, too, and I never had the chance to use them. I even "accidentally" forgot to take off my watch. How could you not catch that? What if I was a terrorist? What if I was a big jerkoff anti-American douchebag or something? How could you miss that?
Well, let me tell you. I don't feel safe.
I was promised safety. I was promised delays and the sacrifice of my dignity.
Not to mention, I am pretty flipping disappointed that there are no naked pictures of me. I thought it was finally going to happen. Naked pictures. Of me. It would be like I was one of the cool kids. Like I was part of the 21st century. Now, that dream is over.
Shape up, TSA. You can't advertise the complete destruction of my rights as a human being, and then not deliver.
Next time I travel, I expect results.