Monday, December 13, 2010

No Nekked Pictures

Dear TSA,

I have to admit, I was a little disappointed that going through airport security was so easy.  I mean, after all the fuss, I expected there to be some drama.

Where were the long lines I was promised?  We walked right up to the security checkpoint.  The entire process took maybe 10 minutes.

And did I get screened? Well, I guess.  But I didn't get the backscatter thingy, and I didn't get groped.  I pay taxes!  And then I get cheated out of using the expensive equipment that my tax dollars paid for!

I had so many great one-liners planned, too,  and I never had the chance to use them.  I even "accidentally" forgot to take off my watch.  How could you not catch that?  What if I was a terrorist?  What if I was a big jerkoff anti-American douchebag or something?  How could you miss that?

Well, let me tell you.  I don't feel safe.

I was promised safety.  I was promised delays and the sacrifice of my dignity.

Not to mention, I am pretty flipping disappointed that there are no naked pictures of me.  I thought it was finally going to happen.  Naked pictures. Of me.  It would be like I was one of the cool kids.  Like I was part of the 21st century.  Now, that dream is over.

Shape up, TSA.  You can't advertise the complete destruction of my rights as a human being, and then not deliver.

Next time I travel, I expect results.


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