We get free socks if we participate.
But this means that I have to step out of the box, as it were, and try new things.
It turns out that my abject fear of yoga was unfounded. Yoga's OK, and I kinda like it (I am pretty sure just saying that has caused an imbalance in the universe).
It was zumba I should have been worried about.
Zumba tried to kill me.
No, I didn't have fun, please stop looking at me in disbelief. I left the class sweaty, frustrated, a little bit angry, and with a slightly pulled muscle in my back.
No, I seriously did not have fun, stop acting so surprised. I felt (and probably looked) like I was having a seizure. I don't WANT to "wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle and turn, then shake shake shake my hips". Fuck you.
I will have to admit, though, that the class wasn't nearly as bad as the complete disappointment everyone around me seems to have in my lack of enthusiasm. I would rather do endless push-ups and sit-ups and run until my feet bleed than go back to zumba. Sorry.
Random Coworker in the Class that I Don't Know (RCitCtIDK): "It takes some getting used to."
Another Random Coworker in the Class that I Don't Know (ARCitCtIDK): "I still don't know all the steps! Don't worry!"
Wait, was I supposed to be worried? Was I THAT bad?
RCitCtIDK: "I just feel so good afterwards. Don't you feel good?"
Me: "Uh. Heh. Um...." I looked around. "No."
ARCitCtIDK: "HA HA HA, you should come back. We have such a good time together!"
RCitCtIDK: "I feel so good afterwards."
ARCitCtIDK: "Don't worry, we all had to learn!"
Me: "Uh. I'll think about it. Excuse me. I have something to do. Over there." (Makes escape).
I'm sorry. I didn't like it.
I am not judging you. Go do your sexy aerobics. It's fine.
I don't do sexy aerobics, I look more like someone is randomly zapping me with a cattle prod. I kept wondering why I was facing the back and nearly falling off the riser in the workout room.
New rule: If someone tries to get me to go to any kind of fast paced dance-type exercise class where my limbs may flail around in random directions and may or may not come in contact (accidentally) with other people's faces, I will say "No."
This makes me a little sad. I HATE it when I am not instantly good at something. Hate it.
I am a ray of fucking sunshine.
I think I need to stop with the classes and just go back to running.