Friday, March 25, 2011

Monster Mouse

I had this really amazing post all written up. I came home to do some editing, and the post was gone. Only the title and the last couple of paragraphs remain. I may have to start the stabbity-stabby-stab-stab on the Blogger editor.

Since there is no way to rewrite it and have it be anywhere as awesome as it was before, I have been trying to figure out what to write about since the previous story has been RUINED and I do not wish to think of it again.


But I do have good news. I am getting out of town for a brief vacation. I am heading to New Orleans.

I planned this a month ago, but I think I didn't really believe it. I thought something would come up, and I would be stuck in my sad little world of gray cubicles until my spirit broke. But I'm going. Tonight.

And just because you know I am going to be out of town you can't go to my house and throw a party. Or rob me. The house is not completely without security. My cats will get you.

Here is a quick anecdote about when I lived there.

You're welcome.

When I first moved to New Orleans, I was living with my sister and friend in Mid City.  We lived a couple blocks from City Park, and about the same distance from the streetcar line.  I knew that riding the buses was faster, but since I can get lost in a closet and the streetcars are on these set rails with limited range for driving me off into the land of the lost, I preferred the streetcars.

City Park
 I was coming home from work one night, and I may have had a drink or two- not that that has anything whatsoever to do with what happened next, but... Well.  Anyway.  I was coming home from work one night.

It was raining slightly, and the streets were shiny and I was still in the wonderland phase of living in New Orleans.  I still couldn't believe I had actually done it, and moved.  And gotten a job.  And a house.  It was insane.  I never did anything, and then I just up and moved a thousand miles for no good reason.  It was awesome.

Anyway, I was walking home in the drizzle.  I had just reached my street when I glanced towards the park and saw something.

Sure, it was dark.  Yes, it was also raining.  I will admit that I also only saw it out of the corner of my eye, and by the time I turned, it was over.

What happened was something that was vaguely upright, roughly the size of a child, had dropped to all fours, and then ... sort of... melted into the storm drain about a block away.

I ran home and burst through the door.  "I just saw my first New Orleans vampire!" I squealed.  I was terribly, terribly excited.

Fast forward a few weeks, and my sister and I were walking in City Park.  We heard a splash, and I was all, "Gators?".

Then we saw this:
That isn't an alligator.
Was it an otter?  What was that thing?  I walked to the edge of the water, it saw me and turned.

It saw us and started swimming closer.
That wasn't an otter.

What this was was a 4 foot long rat with bright orange teeth.  And it was swimming towards us.

Hell yes, we ran.
So, what I probably saw that night was not a vampire, but one of these orange teethed monsters, also known to the locals as a "nutria".

(These photos were taken with my crappy first digital camera that is not as good as most modern phone cameras in 2005)

I would also like to note that there are many, many more memorable moments from my time in New Orleans, but this was the first one that came to mind.

P.S. I know I said I would be out of town, but if you SPAM my site while I am gone, I will track you down and kick you in the house and burn down your face.  I mean it!

P.P.S.  This isn't to discourage you from posting a comment.  I love comments.  It is the only validation I have in my life.  Please please please affirm my awesomeness.

P.P.P.S. OK, that sounded desperate.  Totally post something if you want to or have something to say.  No obligation.

P.P.P.P.S. And I know you're probably stuck at work and all that, so please feel free to envy my mini-vacation.


His Holiness said...

Interesting fact: those orange teeth come from the nutria's predisposition toward stalking and devouring gingers and their offspring.

You're lucky you got out of there with your skin.

Anonymous said...

I read all of your blogs. I may not comment on all of them for my children scream my name like 60 times in just 2 mins....Why did I ever teach them the word " MOM" I must have been missing a few marbles out of my sack. lol... But your AWESOME.. I love your blogs so much you make me laugh all the time and I love the pictures.. Sometimes i find my self pondering what your going to blog next.. So thank you.. Leah

Anonymous said...

Nutria scare the bejeezus out of me... something about the orange teeth just takes "great big rat" and multiplies it by a million!
And you do know you suck for being in NOLA when it's SNOWING here in Wes' BYGAWD Virginny...

Leauxra said...

You should be scared. Those suckers have orange teeth.

Also? Yeah, it was 80 degrees in New Orleans. I win.