I stepped on the scale in the wellness center at work. Up... Still more... tap, tap tap... It was one of those old fashioned, doctor's office type scales, with a little balance at the top.
"Hey," I said loudly, "I haven't lost any weight, and I've been working out for like, three days."
A random lady in the locker room laughed. Oh yeah. Not. At. Home. People can hear me.
It is actually pretty spectacular that I have actually been working out at all. I've been running. OK, I've been jogging a little, and walking. The hope is that some day I will be a super athlete. Every time I jog more than a minute at a time, I imagine that someday soon, I will qualify to run the marathon in the Olympics. Before you know it, I will be running 100 mile races without breaking a sweat.
Who says I can't set realistic long term goals?
Hollywood has completely ruined my expectations, though. In movies, as soon as someone decides they are going to try to get in shape, all it takes is a montage, and they have the body of Angelina Jolie. Apparently, in real life, a montage takes several months. And plastic surgery.
One of the hardest things about getting off my butt and actually doing anything is this fear of judgment. I was talking to a coworker about this when we were on a walk.
Me: "I don't want to run here, really. Everyone can see me. They'll judge me."
Her: "Ha ha. No they won't."
Me: "Sure they do."
Her: "You don't judge the other people running."
Me: "Um... Yes I do."
Then she stopped talking to me.
I am sure she was judging me as a judging judge. Which is probably true. But as an "armchair athlete", I think I am entitled. I know what good running is supposed to look like. Form, balance, stride, blah blah blah. I read about it all the time. Just because I can't do it doesn't mean it isn't right.
It's just about time to sign up for the Bolder Boulder. Seven weeks from Monday. Can I run a 10K race and not die?
Last year was a bit of a disaster. But this time, this time, I'll totally beat the other 55,000 runners. Because I have seven weeks to go from not being able to run a mile into SUPER ATHLETE who eats Cocoa Pebbles for breakfast every day.