tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post5756255149597158309..comments2023-05-11T01:39:20.875-06:00Comments on Does This Make My Blog Look Fat?: Why Do I have to Keep Explaining This?Leauxrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16056708620380337471noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-30446598139049392042013-02-25T10:54:06.857-07:002013-02-25T10:54:06.857-07:00Agree. We get "the question" quite often...Agree. We get "the question" quite often as well. Our friends don't ask any more. Our parents have backed off some (although my dad will lay his hand on my head and say "I will you triplets" more often than I'd like). But I don't get it from strangers as much as I used to. Kids just aren't on the to do list. <br /><br />(When people reply, "Well not everyone's meant to have children," I want to punch them in the face - go say that to a couple that's sticking needles in themselves and taking hormones to have their own child. It's almost as if they don't know how to respond to such a matter-of-fact resolution.)<br /><br />It's annoying, but I do believe most people offer their opinions and ask with sincerity. I have no doubt that having a child is life changing and fabulous - but if you like your life the way it is, keep doing what you're doing. Keep blowing their mind with odd replies like "population control" or my favorite "you can keep having babies; I like the idea of having social security when I'm older." Brookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08228976877248216684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-79288168432936047612013-02-25T09:47:05.573-07:002013-02-25T09:47:05.573-07:001) I am moved by the thoughtful words of Anonymous...1) I am moved by the thoughtful words of Anonymous above. "God Bless you man," indeed. That's exactly what I was going to type, too, only Anonymous took it first;<br /><br />2) I'm pretty sure I could hang with your grandma;<br /><br />3) I'm glad your mom got the point. Now, if only the rest of the world could stop caring about your choices and uterus;<br /><br />4) I have huge respect for people who choose not to have kids, as that's an indication that they've actually thought about the issue and didn't just "fall into" their existences, as so many "whoops, I got pregnant" folks do. Jocelynhttp://omightycrisis.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-72078607510163989442013-02-07T06:51:59.190-07:002013-02-07T06:51:59.190-07:00I WISH I didn't want kids. It would make me li...I WISH I didn't want kids. It would make me life sooo much easier.<br /><br />People need to learn to mind your own business! Not everybody has to reproduce. A friend of mine (who REALLY) doesn't want children told me the other day that I'm more interesting without kids. All the people she knows who are parents turned boring once the offspring came along.bevchenhttp://confuzzledom.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-48089994590330950502013-02-04T09:22:05.280-07:002013-02-04T09:22:05.280-07:00Nice response!Nice response!thoughtsappearhttp://thoughtsappear.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-27533316991983619262013-02-03T23:11:38.530-07:002013-02-03T23:11:38.530-07:00Freaking best answer ever!Freaking best answer ever!Izzy Masonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04677708297604727362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-66193206676877321512013-02-02T07:24:17.242-07:002013-02-02T07:24:17.242-07:00I feel your pain as my best friend of 25+ years fe...I feel your pain as my best friend of 25+ years feels exactly the same way about children as you and I've seen her go through all the same line of questioning you have. She has felt that way FOREVER and 25+ years later she STILL feels the same way even though everyone swore up and down she would one day change her mind. <br /><br />I respect that you know what you want (or in this case DON'T want) rather than being irresponsible and having children, then not taking care of them or leaving them somewhere (as you stated). You are doing the most responsible, mature thing to do. <br /><br />I really can't stand when people do this to other women, family or not. People just need to STFU and mind their own business. I have kids, but even so, sometimes I'd like to drop them off somewhere and leave myself, if you know what I mean. :|Rebeka https://www.blogger.com/profile/11856211362023835177noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-50963307509978747572013-02-01T12:20:50.831-07:002013-02-01T12:20:50.831-07:00Love the response! There is nothing wrong with not...Love the response! There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids, and I applaud those that decide it's just not for them. While I love my own kid to death, being a parent is super effing hard a lot of the time, and if I hadn't been completely sure I wanted and was ready for parenting, it would suck big time. If someone's ambivalent, dude. Just say no.<br /><br />If it makes you feel better, even if you have kids, the nosy folks still get all up in your business. If you only have one (our situation- one and DONE baby!)they start asking when you're having another (12th of Never was my general response) and if you're not, you're judged as some horrible person for raising a spoiled child. If you have more than two, people start questioning when you're going to stop, how can you afford it, how do they all get their own time, etc. etc. I think the "Well-Meaning Person" is a myth. They're just a judgmental bitty wanting to stick their nose in everyone else's business. Blech.<br /><br />Wow. That was ranty. Sorry about that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-24404105067641466852013-01-31T18:40:09.896-07:002013-01-31T18:40:09.896-07:00I totally understand how frustrating these convers...I totally understand how frustrating these conversations are! I'm only 29, so I suspect I will be having them for years to come. In my early 20s, I trully thought I would be changing my mind about having babies and a few years ago decided that I wanted to have my mind made up one way or the other by the time I was 30. Well... 2 1/2 months until my 30th birthday and I'm still not having the maternal urge.<br /><br />If there ends up being an "oops" situation, it happens and we will manage just fine and be good parents. But we are taking precautions to prevent it! <br /><br />I have a couple of friends that decided not to have kids and they are STILL happy as they are in their late 30s/early 40s, so that helps reassure me in my decision.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-87111039733675456012013-01-31T18:40:08.145-07:002013-01-31T18:40:08.145-07:00I totally understand how frustrating these convers...I totally understand how frustrating these conversations are! I'm only 29, so I suspect I will be having them for years to come. In my early 20s, I trully thought I would be changing my mind about having babies and a few years ago decided that I wanted to have my mind made up one way or the other by the time I was 30. Well... 2 1/2 months until my 30th birthday and I'm still not having the maternal urge.<br /><br />If there ends up being an "oops" situation, it happens and we will manage just fine and be good parents. But we are taking precautions to prevent it! <br /><br />I have a couple of friends that decided not to have kids and they are STILL happy as they are in their late 30s/early 40s, so that helps reassure me in my decision.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-12730607569266864562013-01-30T16:43:49.823-07:002013-01-30T16:43:49.823-07:00I dealt with this for years too. I'm now 56 an...I dealt with this for years too. I'm now 56 and so this BS has been over for some time now. I truly believe that some people are threatened by those of us who choose not to multiply. That's the feeling I've always gotten anyway. It is annoying hearing someone tell me "you'd make such a good mother." HOW could they know this when I have such huge doubts myself. <br /><br />Anyways, I feel you. NEOCLEOAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-52396041449091092992013-01-30T14:54:10.563-07:002013-01-30T14:54:10.563-07:00^ Well said Stephanie.
^ Well said Stephanie.<br /><br />StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-33299559373840858282013-01-30T05:17:00.367-07:002013-01-30T05:17:00.367-07:00Oh god, I hate those conversations. I want(ed) ki...Oh god, I hate those conversations. I want(ed) kids, just can't have 'em. Three years of trying, and to be honest - the longer I go the closer I am to thinking that it might be for the best. I LIKE my life, thank you very much. At least I have an answer that shuts people up: I can tell them that I've battled infertility and miscarriage for three years. Infertility doesn't phase some people...they'll just go right on with their helpful advice. But miscarriage usually scares their mouths shut with a bang. Ha!<br /><br />I like this website a lot: http://thenotmom.com/<br /><br />Also...some people seem to think that not having kids makes a person selfish. I do not understand that at all. I think it's much more selfish to make having kids by default without thinking about it, just because it's "the thing you do next".Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00420841652300294215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-73273223324994095052013-01-29T23:22:57.942-07:002013-01-29T23:22:57.942-07:00Very well done. Heh.Very well done. Heh.MakingSpacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09512337949478137031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-77022140826256378802013-01-29T20:48:59.990-07:002013-01-29T20:48:59.990-07:00Another little smidgen left out of "well mean...Another little smidgen left out of "well meaning"'s rant: the pregnancy part alone is hell, and there are NO pitchers of booze allowed.<br /><br />It's kind of horrible.<br /><br />People are assholes. Everyone thinks they know best. The difference is whether or not you are SEEKING other perspectives, or if you want them to just shut the hell up. I wish people could detect which one is which, much faster.<br /><br />I was of the mindset that if we got pregnant, we'd deal with it and find happiness. If it never happened, we would still be happy with each other in life.<br /><br />Already people are telling me what to do and not to do. That we were wrong to find out the sex.<br /><br />SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADAAAAAP!<br /><br />And the concept of NOT being able to hand this kid back over to a (different set of) parents KEEPS ME AWAKE AT NIGHT.StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-48628282720677075752013-01-29T20:12:59.345-07:002013-01-29T20:12:59.345-07:00Keith: Generally female, but there are at least a ...Keith: Generally female, but there are at least a few men who have brought it up... usually new fathers, and one ex-boyfriend... he's the one that told me every woman should have a child.<br /><br />I told him I'd rather have kittens.<br /><br />And congratulations on 30 years! That's freaking awesome! My parents recently celebrated their 40th, so I have pretty high standards for a life mate. :)<br /><br />Misty: I figured some people might just be that self centered... like when I say I don't like eating pigs or cows because I've met some cool pigs or cows and it isn't in me to eat them anymore. They seem to think I am somehow making a statement about THEM when I am talking about ME.<br /><br />And I'm totally using that at work on my boss when she asks. "SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE, WOMAN!" Hahahaha.<br /><br />Christian: Pitchers of boozes will solve most of life's problems. And cause them. It's like the cycle of life. Only with booze. Leauxrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16056708620380337471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-10419477708949307762013-01-29T18:42:29.727-07:002013-01-29T18:42:29.727-07:00As someone that has kids and wouldn't trade th...As someone that has kids and wouldn't trade them for the world but also knows that I could have had just as happy and fulfilling life if I had never had them I've learned that you should always leave with the pitcher of booze.Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Pointhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11447821094473597560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-68389634734227656782013-01-29T18:27:45.833-07:002013-01-29T18:27:45.833-07:00I think you are being very generous about that &qu...I think you are being very generous about that "well-meaning" part. Seriously.<br /><br />Next time just tell them you're barren. Maybe that will shut their pie holes. Nosey assholes.<br /><br />If you don't wanna have kids, you don't wanna have kids. I wish more people would examine whether that is a good option for them, before popping out tikes that they then abuse/neglect/ruin/kill. Not that I think you would do any of those things, of course, but I appreciate your decision that it's not right for you.<br /><br />I think the comeback to your mom was brilliant.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-38660362898788660732013-01-29T17:40:40.099-07:002013-01-29T17:40:40.099-07:00I am happily child free after many years of marria...I am happily child free after many years of marriage. More than 10,000 days, less than 30 years. My line is that kids are great, especially when they go home especially their parents. The very few times I've had anyone try those lines on me, a repressive glare works very well, and only once have I had to use the line "so, what financial guarantees, in writing, are you prepared to make about this happiness and love you say I'll have. We can go visit my lawyer any time."<br /><br />You don't mention if well-meaning-person is male or female. I suppose it doesn't matter, but I've never heard of a guy being that nosey about it.Keithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09364395150014197905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-54418104100044543782013-01-29T16:20:23.872-07:002013-01-29T16:20:23.872-07:00Crystal: Yes! Exactly! It's like the working...Crystal: Yes! Exactly! It's like the working mom versus the stay at home mom crap I see all the time. Stop being a Nosey Nancy and mind your own business! <br /><br />And I fully support your lack of fast food (yuck!), and the long hair. People should get our of your business!<br /><br />Wynopants: Tell them you had a kid once and it was delicious with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. For real, WHY DO THEY CARE?<br /><br />LeeAnn: Aww, shit yeah. Now I get imaginary Reddit fame! You rock!Leauxrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16056708620380337471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-2816438737046393842013-01-29T15:42:03.975-07:002013-01-29T15:42:03.975-07:00If this post were a reddit one, I couldn't upv...If this post were a reddit one, I couldn't upvote it enough. I'd invent multitudes of imaginary people just so I could upvote the everlovin' shit out of it. LeeAnnhttp://lookababywolf.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-91627758986868730462013-01-29T13:20:08.588-07:002013-01-29T13:20:08.588-07:00People always ask me about the kid thing, or when ...People always ask me about the kid thing, or when my bf and I are going to get married. I hate having to explain that I don't necessarily want either of these to happen, so I just say no- and then get the condescending "someday..." response.<br />Freedom... I'm much less willing to give this up as I get older. The situation would have to be perfect for me to consider it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6436529532164956333.post-70829329676834345452013-01-29T12:39:17.747-07:002013-01-29T12:39:17.747-07:00Nothing is more horrible than people constantly qu...Nothing is more horrible than people constantly questioning your choices! Good for you not caving to the pressure. :) <br /><br />We have one. Yes, we love him. But that doesn't mean every woman in the world should be forced to have one whether she wants or not! Just like we shouldn't have to cut his hair to make other people happy, put him in public school to make others happy, or eat more beef because someone said so. <br /><br />You just do what you can to make yourself happy. So far I'm finding that no matter what, someone is going to be annoying about it. Can I borrow the fork in the eye thing for the next time someone tells me I need another one, calls him a girl, or tells me I'm a bad mom because we don't eat fast food? Crystalhttp://homeschooldreams.comnoreply@blogger.com